This week, like it does every time I’m unemployed, the Pokemon bug has bitten me. The summer before last I started working on filling out the generation 4 National Pokedex on my copy of Pokemon Pearl, and this week I’ve picked that project back up. I love the generation 4 Pokemon games dearly, and actually 100% completing one of them has been a bucket list item of mine for a while. So, this time I intend to really do it. I made a meticulous spreadsheet to track my progress and everything.
The twist in this little project of mine is that it is going to involve a whole hell of a lot of real life walking around. You see, I still have my Pokewalker, which I got packaged with my copy of Pokemon SoulSilver when I was eight years old. The Pokewalker is a little pedometer that you can catch Pokemon on. You can then send those Pokemon to your copy of Pokemon HeartGold or SoulSilver. I intend to use the Pokewalker to get Feebas and Spiritomb, two Pokemon that are really obnoxious to obtain normally. They’re both found on the last Pokewalker route, which you need 100,000 watts, the Pokewalker’s currency, to unlock. You get one watt per 20 steps. So 100,000 watts works out to 2,000,000 steps. Perhaps you can now imagine my present conundrum.
It’s okay though, because I like taking long walks when unemployed anyway. I’m thinking about maybe getting my hands on a crummy old digital camera so that I can snap little photos on my walks. If I start doing that I might turn it into a segment on this blog. Yes, I could just take photos with my cell phone camera, but I think a crummy old digital camera would suit the way this trashy website already looks much better than my cell phone camera, what with its high definition lenses. So, look forward to unemployment walk photojournaling on here, maybe.
Major League Baseball is back! Woohoo! I am doing such a good job of not thinking about Polymarket! Go Blue Jays!
However, I have bad news. Netflix produced the opening night broadcast, and they’re threatening to produce many more special event broadcasts over the next few years. I understand they have bribed MLB for the privilege.
I say this is bad news because what I watched last night (I’m writing this segment on Thursday) was barely Baseball. The booth spent half of the game not calling the game! Nearly every inning brought another fluff interview: we had Netflix bozo Bert Kreischer, NFL Player (???) Jameis Winston, widely despised commissioner Rob Manfred, and, mercifully, a curmudgeonly Barry Bonds. Add to this two on field interviews with team managers and an on field interview with Jazz Chisholm Jr. (yes, literally while he was playing the game) and this Baseball game only featured I think 11 half innings where the Baseball being played was the actual focus.
The most egregious and obvious way these interviews fucked up the viewing experience was that the broadcast missed the first ever Major League ABS challenge because they were busy interviewing Tony Vitello. But honestly that was less of a downer for me, personally, than the general lack of Baseball minutia.
Two of my favourite things about Baseball are the slow, contemplative pace, and the focus broadcasters tend to give to every minute detail. Last night’s game was one where these things, under normal circumstances, would have taken center stage. It was, put simply, a very boring game. The Yankees scored five runs in the second inning, and the game was over right there. The giants never got a run in, and the final score was 7-0. It was an ideal environment for minute discussion of individual pitches to thrive. Hell, regular Baseball broadcasts often have little moments of silence. Let me have contemplative silence! Please, please make Bert Kreischer shut up!
Of course, the broadcast was also very ugly and replete with advertising. Netflix’s scorebug is the second worst I’ve ever seen, beaten only by the Fanduel Sports Network Basketball scorebug, which has the audacity to stretch across the entire bottom of the screen in order to display live betting odds. And the advertising, good god, the advertising. Bert Kreischer’s whole presence basically served as advertising for his Netflix content, but they didn’t stop there: we got a bizarre, uncanny valley ad for the Netflix One Piece adaptation during the game, and they weren’t ready to let me go five minutes without thinking about Mountain Dew Baja Blast, the official soft drink of Major League Baseball.
I’m going to watch the rest of this Yankees/Giants series, because the Yankees and Giants will be the first two teams I follow for my “following two new teams every week” series, which will start next week. Thankfully, the next two games will not be produced by Netflix.
”Sexistential” is a brand new album by Swedish pop singer Robyn. It’s a dance album, with lots of four on the floor grooves, fun synth sounds, and catchy hooks. None of it is especially boundary-pushing or exciting, but it’s an enjoyable listen nonetheless.
The biggest highlight on the album for me is the title track, which has a more stripped down, hard hitting sound than the rest of the album, with a flat, almost spoken vocal delivery. It has my favourite groove on the album, leaning almost exclusively on a hard drum beat and a really catchy bassline, and lyrically it’s a lot of fun. The whole album centers on frank and open exploration of sexuality, and this song takes that in a raunchier direction than the others. The Adam Driver line cracks me up every time. It’s a song that sort of makes me think of Peaches’ “Fuck the Pain Away,” and honestly any song that reminds me of “Fuck the Pain Away” is probably going to get two thumbs up in my book.
Now, the title track was also released as a single, so I kind of came into the album with skewed expectations. There’s nothing else on here that hits quite like “Sexistential.” The lyricism is strong throughout; we don’t get a ton of mainstream art that focuses on middle aged women’s perspectives on sex, so it’s cool to hear that, and Robyn writes it well. Otherwise, though, there isn’t anything to really make most of this album stand out. It has good grooves and nice hooks, but that’s sort of just what you expect from this genre.
That said, there’s nothing wrong with boilerplate electronic dance pop. This album is immaculately produced with lots of nice little flourishes, vocal edits and sound effects and the like, and the foundations: the drum beats, basslines, and synth sounds, are rock solid. It’s an enjoyable listen, with one really good standout track.
Rating: ○