Baseball Corner
Seeing as I took two weeks between posts this time around, I decided to double up on Baseball following and look at four teams. I’ll treat the first week’s pair before the second week’s pair, and I’ll go in my usual AL then NL order with each pair.
The Boston Red Sox are a real disaster this year. But boy oh boy, it was an eventful couple of weeks to follow them. First off, I want to talk about them sweeping the Yankees. That kicked ass. Real David and Goliath stuff, which is sort of funny, since Yankees/Red Sox is supposed to be Goliath and Goliath. Then there was all the stuff with Willson Contreras. I want to be absolutely clear: he was well within his rights to charge that guy. I wish they hadn’t held him back. I’m a little bummed that he got suspended, but at least Cade Cavalli got suspended too.
Aside from the newsworthy stuff, the Boston Red Sox are just the fun kind of bad team to watch. They’ve got enough stuff working that they aren’t boring, and when they lose it’s often dramatic. They’ve also got several important players on the IL right now, so there’s always the chance they might get better down the stretch.
On the pitching side of things, I didn’t come away with strong impressions of anybody except for Ranger Suarez and Aroldis Chapman. Suarez is one of those pitchers who just looks like a wizard when his stuff is working. I still remember him pitching eight shutout innings against the Blue Jays earlier this season, allowing only one hit and one walk. That was the kind of loss for my team where I couldn’t even be mad, because what Suarez was doing was just so cool to watch. Chapman is harder to root for, given a pretty horrifying allegation against him of domestic abuse, which he caught a 30 game suspension for in 2016, but he holds the current record for fastest recorded pitch, so he is a memorable presence. He’s one of the original triple digit flamethrowing relievers. Still, if I were a Red Sox guy I’d want my team to part ways with the domestic abuser.
As a sidenote, former Blue Jays colour commentator Buck Martinez saying Aroldis Chapman’s name is a soundbite that is burned into my brain probably permanently. Hearing his rasp curl around “Aroldis,” and then the way he would hit “Chap” with real percussive force. That guy’s voice is amazing and I miss him every day, as much as I do like Joe Siddall.
The Red Sox batting lineup is just full of fun guys. Contreras, who I mentioned before, is fiery in a way Baseball players generally aren’t. He’s got an edge, which is fun. Caleb Durbin was really heating up while I was watching, and he’s a blast. And Ceddanne Rafaela is a prototypical fun, talented center fielder.
Red Sox fan culture, from what little I’ve gleaned, seems generally enjoyable. They have the same long active, storied franchise thing going that the Yankees do, but probably because the Red Sox have had less success, they’re way less annoying about it. Red Sox fandom seems defined by ancient and passionate devotion to a thing that sort of sucks most of the time, which is way more what liking Baseball is about than jerking it to Derek Jeter is.
I should also note that the Red Sox were, if I’m not mistaken, my dad’s team of choice before he moved to Canada and became a Blue Jays man, so that biases me in their favour a little, in a way that sort of contradicts my inherent bias against my team’s division rivals.
Overall I enjoyed watching the Red Sox more than I expected to, and they’re going to land reasonably high on the ranking list.
At the same time I was watching the Red Sox, I was following the St. Louis Cardinals in the National League. I saw some fun stuff watching these guys, including a seven run inning the other night, but not much about them really sticks in my mind. J.J. Weatherholt looks like an action figure, and the batting lineup more broadly sure seems productive. That’s about all I’ve got in terms of insight.
But I can offer a little bit of trash talk and complaining. First of all, the Cardinals have maybe the worst logo in the league. That interlocking S and L with a little T tucked in there is just hideous. I’m not a fan of the interlocking letters thing generally: it’s played out. But this is a particularly bad one. And it’s a shame, because the design on the front of their jerseys is excellent. Two cardinals perched on either end of a baseball bat. I love it so much. So if any Cardinals executives are reading this: please, please just put the bird on the hat. The Blue Jays and Orioles have the bird on the hat, and they have far and away the best hats in the league as a result. Just put the bird on the hat. It would be so good.
Second, as far as I understand it we have Cardinals fans to blame for starting the whole tarps off thing. I’m of several minds on the phenomenon. On the one hand, I think it’s a fun and goofy concept. Rally caps, but stripping. On the other hand, every guy I’ve seen do it gives off real boorish vibes. So, I don’t know, I’m sort of neutral on Cardinals fan culture, I guess.
The Cardinals are a middle of the pack team, who slot right in alongside the others that didn’t make much of an impression on me.
In my second week of Baseball watching, I deliberately chose two teams I felt I could judge without actually watching very much. This was because, as I mentioned up top, I’ve been fighting the combo Deltarune-Void Stranger brainrot and have struggled to focus on other things, even things as passive and easy as watching Baseball. Those two teams are the Rangers and the Marlins.
The Texas Rangers are an evil organization. Exhibit A: they are called the Texas Rangers. Elsewhere in the league you find teams named after birds, or socks, or the concept of athleticism. In Arlington, they decided to just be cops. Exhibit B: they’ve got a statue of a segregationist cop at their stadium. Exhibit C: they’re the only team in MLB that’s never had a pride night. Exhibit D: they shoot off fireworks when one of their guys hits a home run, which is admittedly not as serious as the other points raised, but I do think it’s gaudy and repulsive, and probably terrorizes every dog in Arlington.
In terms of the actual game, there isn’t a ton to redeem these guys. The most exciting thing they have to offer is the presence of a couple of aging stars, in Corey Seager and Jacob deGrom. These guys are both past their prime, though. Honestly, I don’t really care about the on-field play, because of all that other stuff.
Also, look at this scorebug. What the fuck?
In looking into the Rangers, I was hit with an earth shattering realization. I hate them more than the Yankees. I’m imagining a Rangers/Yankees ALCS and realizing that there is an actual possible scenario where I root for the Yankees. I hate that for me.
The final team to discuss today is the Miami Marlins, and really I only have one thing to say: they call their pitches from the dugout. I hate this as a practice. On the fly strategizing between the pitcher and the catcher is a significant part of what I find compelling about the moment to moment action in Baseball. And, more generally, I’m watching Baseball to see the players play the game. So, I find calling pitches from the dugout offensive. It is, to me, antithetical to the game, and seems unnecessarily cumbersome, besides. I am putting the Marlins near the bottom of the list just for this.
Also, in verifying my facts I discovered that the Rockies also call pitches from the dugout now. So, I’ll be updating the list to reflect that.
1. Seattle Mariners
2. Milwaukee Brewers
3. Arizona Diamondbacks
4. Kansas City Royals
5. Athletics
6. Chicago White Sox
7. Pittsburgh Pirates
8. San Diego Padres
9. Cleveland Guardians
10. Boston Red Sox
11. Philadelphia Phillies
12. Minnesota Twins
13. New York Mets
14. Chicago Cubs
15. Baltimore Orioles
16. San Fransisco Giants
17. St. Louis Cardinals
18. Houston Astros
19. Los Angeles Angels
20. Atlanta Braves
21. Colorado Rockies
22. Miami Marlins
23. New York Yankees
24. Texas Rangers
(Edit: I forgot to figure this out while writing the post, but this week I'll be following the Tampa Bay Rays and the Washington Nationals.)
What Have I Been Listening to?
It’s getting real late as I write this, so I’m going to keep it short. I’ve been listening to Emperor X’s new album “Unified Field” a whole lot. I discovered Emperor X last year, and “Western Teleport” quickly became one of my favourite albums ever. I think Chad Matheny is a really exceptional lyricist, able to address political and worldly topics as well as more personal and esoteric ones in extremely elegant and clever ways. His lyrics are snappy, memorable, and frequently beautiful. Musically, his stuff is folk punk adjacent indie rock with a lot of really catchy, poppy melodies. He sounds a little bit like The Mountain Goats, which is to say he’s right up my alley.
This new Album has a lot of everything Matheny has ever done well, but it sets itself apart from the rest of the Emperor X oeuvre by being the most explicitly political album Matheny has ever made. Matheny’s music has never shied away from addressing real world issues: “Western Teleport,” released in 2011, has a song called “Allahu Akbar” that’s all about rejecting islamaphobic propaganda by asserting that Muslims, even Muslims in militias in war torn parts of the Middle East, are regular people with regular people feelings and motives. “Unified Field” works almost entirely in this sort of zone, though: there’s nothing here as personal as “Erica Western Teleport” or as strange as “Canada Day.” Instead we’ve got the likes of “Praise Jesus! Hail Reagan!,” an extremely on the nose but still very funny satire piece about America’s simultaneous fascination with Christianity and authoritarian immigration policy.
While I like when Emperor X is weird and hard to parse, the straightforward, explicitly political angle of “Unified Field” is enjoyable in its own right. It approaches present day global politics from a variety of angles, from the satire of the aforementioned “Praise Jesus! Hail Reagan!,” to “Cybertruck,” which starts as a joke about the kind of guy who wants to buy a Cybertruck before evolving to a touching reflection on what these things are actually doing to human communities, to “Line Go Up Line Go Down,” which breaks in the bridge to deliver a very explicit little dissertation on the Soviet Union, the United Nations, and the European Union, which somehow manages to be interesting and eloquent enough to justify its jarring presence. The variety of moods across the album makes it feel like a really honest, human response to the present political moment: equal parts scathing criticism, gallows humour, and plain old anger. I’m always impressed when music can be this explicitly about politics without getting corny, or lurching into sloganeering. Emperor X just does a great job injecting real poetry into every subject he chooses to address.
Musically, this is really standard Emperor X fare, which is to say, I love it. One thing out of the ordinary is that this album has more backing vocals than I’ve heard on other Emperor X projects, and this is a great addition. I really like the vocal arrangement on the title track in particular.
I feel like I’m saying this every week lately, but “Unified Field” is one of my favourite albums of the year so far. It’s in my regular rotation now, right alongside Ruth Garbus’ “Profound,” Paul McCartney’s “The Boys of Dungeon Lane,” and Cola’s “Cost of Living Adjustment.” And the Deltarune soundtrack, of course, because Jesus Christ I can’t get fucking “Flower Man” out of my head.
Rating: ☆☆
I also listened to this album “More Songs About the Sun” by Pye Corner Audio a bit last week. It’s mostly instrumental stuff, and it’s real good. A little bit electronic, a little jazzy, a little rock. One of the guys from the Stone Roses is involved. I have basically nothing to actually say about it, but felt like it deserved a mention. It’s good stuff, check it out!
Rating: ☆
